Come for the laughs, then stay for the discourse, the arguments, the origination of many popular memes, the objectively* problematic ,* but, most importantly, the culture that drives the internet. Welcome to what the web has deemed Black Twitter. As Twitter evolved as a medium, a subculture emerged that felt more like a barbershop than a typical social network. It felt like home.
Whether its a discussion on the differences between thick and fat, the minimum amount that you need to spend on a date, LeBron James’ hairline, white privilege, or the gender war, every single day is a thrill ride. You can cry from laughing, have your entire view changed, and be extremely offended all within the same minute. Theres truly no place like it and though there are plenty of perfect tweets, here are 29 great ones.
* white people breathe a sigh of relief* pic.twitter.com/ gUP6ivUH 8T
— Desus Nice (@ desusnice) December 12, 2014
This list wouldnt be a listing without a tweet from Desus Nice. No one is better at synthesizing white people than Black Twitter, and here he highlights one of the truest facts on the planet: white people love dogs. A lot. Like put their actual human child on a leash while wearing their dog in a baby Bjorn a lot.
But since you are now here…
Stay for knowing when to stay in your lane
2 ) strong>
— Tracy Clayton (@ brokeymcpoverty) April 24, 2016
Remember when Jay-Z* allegedly* cheated on Beyonc, got beat up in an elevator by Solange, inspired an album debut on HBO and a multi-million dollar worldwide tour as a result? Were playing checkers and the Carters are playing Peruvian backgammon.
Homie is fighting for his life and Bolt is posing for photos mid-race pic.twitter.com/ 69 f6Hk3rTR
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@ fivefifths) August 15, 2016
It goes without saying, but this dude has to quit track and might need to stop running wholly, because reaching the peak of your craft merely to see yourself become a laughable meme is as disheartening as it gets.
JAY Z actually had no dad, yo. pic.twitter.com/ 5W26UgoIND
— Kazeem Famuyide (@ RealLifeKaz) September 5, 2013
Dont worry, Jay isnt immune to these tweets either. Although it appears that he IS very immune to playing athletics correctly.
Stay for the ridiculous and problematic
Y’all pray for my cousin Muhammad ain’t nothin incorrect with him he merely look like a honeybun pic.twitter.com/ ypauLYAOtn
— Strap (@ hoop_tilidie) August 9, 2014
Jokes aside, there is no denying that poor Muhammad here looks exactly like a honey bun. In fact, it has reached the phase where you would even say that some honey buns look like Muhammad.
Has this daughter slept with Tiger Woods and Jay-Z !? pic.twitter.com/ 72 YHdJehTm
— Paria (@ PariCalvia) August 5, 2014
Youll find extremely talented people on Black Twitter in just about every field. However, that doesnt always mean theyll use their powers for good. Sometimes they’ll photoshop Tiger Woods and Jay-Z babies.
“It was Dionne Warwick, Fam…” pic.twitter.com/ 5WqBlMNJB5
— Haze (@ GodSon8 3) April 14, 2016
MY NIGGA UR BEING HARANGUED IN TORONTO THE FUCK U DOING EATING A LASER? GET IN THE FUCKIN BOOTH U WING pic.twitter.com/ eqbgj2aoIZ
— THE KID MERO (@ THEKIDMERO) August 4, 2015
Mero here managed to summarize the cultural impact of the Drake v. Meek Mill rap battlea fight Meek lost harder than the Warriors blew a 3-1 leadand effectively utilized the word rant all in the same tweet. Also: Drake played a PowerPoint presentation of tweets he stole from Black Twitter to go at Meek during a concert. Black Twitter won a rap battle, you guys.
— James Holas (@ SnottieDrippen) December 26, 2014
If that sounds outrageous and completely made up, you wouldnt be wrong to assume that. But it did. A human left his children on Christmas morning to drive his automobile for hours to fight a man in Temecula, California after get in a Twitter argument over Kobe Bryant, only to find out that the man he wanted to fight was at his mothers house in Arizona. Definitely not a Father of the Year nominee.
Stay for the politics
No better summation of being black in America. At the highest level having to be gracious to white people who do nothing but disrespect you. pic.twitter.com/ BackyEreMw
— Travon Free (@ Travon) November 10, 2016
Watching our countrys first black President pass the baton to Donald Trump was a tough pill to swallow for Black Twitter. We didnt want Barry to go and it didnt feel officially real until this moment.
I just made a list for why Im voting for Obama and not voting for Romney. http :// t.co/ lX52HNmt
— Larry Beyince (@ DragonflyJonez) October 4, 2012
One of the more important tweets in Black Twitter history. When Barack Obama was in office, we didnt want the experience to end after only four yearsso we needed to run the numbers on the opponent. And, as it turned out, that motherfuckers name was actually Mitt. An utterly damning reason not to be president.
“No, Joe the debate is on”
“Just turn to ESPN real quick. I wanna ensure the score”
“You have your own TV”
“It’s scary in my room.” pic.twitter.com/ RAz6cv 5Q7v
— Ol’ QWERTY Bastard (@ TheDiLLon1) September 27, 2016
Black Twitter did an amazing chore capturing the best bromance in executive branch history. While the tweets and memes constructed us feel like we took their relationship for granted, its rare to see a president and vice president love and admire one another so much. They were homies, for real.
Stay for celebs keeping it a little too real
Scarlett johanneson I will drink ur bath water… #random
— Kevin Durant (@ KDTrey5) January 17, 2011
A perk of Twitter is the access it gives you to celebrities, athletes, and essentially anyone deemed important. That also means it gives you a glimpse into their personality and, well, it gets interesting.
Fyi…LOCATEYOURLOVE.COM is NOT an advice website. It’s an actually on-line DATING SITE. Images and everything. Basically a hook-up site.
— Stephen A Smith (@ stephenasmith) May 5, 2010
In this series of you havent deleted this shit yet? we have hot-take extraordinaire and professional ESPN arguer Stephen A. Smith in a one-sided online battle against a presumed dating site that can best be described as PREPOSTEROUS.
Ray Allen was one of the best pure shooters I’ve ever seen.
He also has the greatest’ should-have-been-a-DM’ tweet of all time. pic.twitter.com/ eIZs2Pn 9Sp
— OrdioMongo (@ OrdioMongo) November 1, 2016
This was the first major I was hacked to happen on Twitter and it sparked the greatest bad excuse in internet history. What should have been a lesson instead gave us the ultimate fail-safe for any errant dick or boob pics.
Stay for the hashtags
— KJ (@ Kxngjuan) November 24, 2015
This hashtag brought us all together through our differentbut all too similar experiences with our families on Thanksgiving. Because all of us have a tale involving THAT auntie, uncle, or cousin.
— Matthew A. Cherry (@ MatthewACherry) July 15, 2015
A unifying hashtag that connected all of our common experiences, #GrowingUpBlack was a nostalgic trip-up down memory lane. Whos to say T-Pain didnt become inspired to construct Buy U a Drank after crooning into a box fan.
— Reese (@ MoneyMakers_Ent) October 15, 2015
CVS-brand Terio didnt know hed become famous the day he got caught looking like a deer in the headlights, but thats why its one of the great moments in Black Twitter history. Magic can happen at any given moment in any dedicated Popeyes line.
— Dean On The Scene (@ NoChillDean) July 15, 2015
If youve been in trouble, this is probably exceedingly triggering. The go over there punishment usually boiled down to an upset mother sending you into a random corner near a doorway. These springy things got us through some tough times.
— Glen Coco (@ MrPooni) January 15, 2015
Jadakiss Why came out 13 years ago, but we still cant seem to figure out: Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get an Oscar? Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it?
Still searching for answers…
But, most importantly, remain for the relatable
when you sleeping and your alarm didn’t ring yet but the amount of sleep you’re get is suspicious pic.twitter.com/ AKOKuZCysl
— sabrina (@ _sxbz) December 14, 2016
Anxiety doesnt even begin to describe the anxiety-inducing effects of this tweet. With that told, this might be the only day this meme has ever appeared on Twitter. A unicorn meme, if you will.
Me: “I’m sure there’s a logical justification for this”
Me to me: “Overreact.” pic.twitter.com/ 1WgwnDZpjs
— I’m Your WCW. I’m 27 (@ jola_jade) November 12, 2016
Birthing the iconic Evil Kermit meme is a feat on its own, but the sheer trillness( trill= combining of true and real) of this tweet constructs it stand alone on its own. Shrieking, argue, and sever relationships first. Ask questions last.
Her: ima tell you something but don’t let it to go to your head
Me: nah what is it
Her: I like your haircut
Me: pic.twitter.com/ 522 iACHiux
— Le (@ 1thing_Young) October 26, 2016
Taking time for yourself is also a big tenet of Black Twitter. Every day, the timeline reminds you that there is no better cheerleader than yourself. It doesnt matter who you are or what you look like. A fresh cut is like acquiring a star in Super Mario. Youre invincible for a short quantity of day. Your jokes hit harder, your breath aromas a little better, and you might snag a compliment here and there. Relish it.
When yo mothers build you go pro when you really wanted to be a doctor pic.twitter.com/ i91SXTmzau
— D-Mac (@ DakaraiMac) April 22, 2014
One of the best Twitter subplots is Kawhi Leonards animosity of basketball. Sure, hes an MVP candidate, but does that look like a human that actually likes basketball? Black Twitter also moonlights as an unaccredited athletics psychologist.
Mario Kart taught me that if things going too well for you, get nervous. It won’t last long
— Trill Withers (@ TylerIAm) August 27, 2014
A friendly reminder to quit while you are ahead. If you feel like youre doing a little too well in your day-to-day, merely remember that the blue shell of life is careening towards you at all times.
— The Internet (@ PIataOPlomo) July 5, 2016
This is probably one of the hardest hitting tweets in existence. It’s since been deleted, but it always needs to be seen every once in awhile to hold you grounded. You may have traumatic moments in your life, but none of them compare to missing a you up? text during late night hours.
Did he use that speed when he ran outta your life? RT @VeroLoLo5: My ex was 6′ 5 185 and could run a 4.2. All y’all suck.
— #AbbasSTRONG (@ Alyricz) January 5, 2014
Arguably the most disrespectful tweet of all time and a timeless auto-RT whenever it comes across the TL. One of the main themes of Black Twitter is the constant gender war. Each day both sides are jockeying for position in a Game of Thrones -type battle where tons of people die horrific online deaths.
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@ fivefifths) September 28, 2015
#DuragHistoryWeek is an official vacation( the NYSE is a hater for not acknowledging it as such) within Black Twitter.
And finally, stay for the all too real
How the hell we supposed to trust Atlanta to keep ebola quarantined when Gucci Mane released 8 mixtapes from jail?
— Larry Beyince (@ DragonflyJonez) August 1, 2014
Think about everything youve done over the last few years. There were some solid accomplishments in there, Im sure. Now come to the realization that you didnt do as much as Gucci Mane did while he was in jail. Amazing that we survived Ebola.